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Thursday October 8, 2009
So I'm pretty terrified right now. It's 5:15 in the morning, I'm wide awake, my eyes hurt, they're puffy, I'm shaking, and I really don't know what to do with myself right now. Typically, I'd suspect drugs, but this is a little different.
No, I just lost a very good friend of mine. LadySpace passed away Tuesday night. Just like that. Something completely unexpected. I've been dealing with the fact that there's a human-shaped hole in my universe where she used to be, and what I'm going to do now that she's not here. Now I'm also a little spooked because, hey, any one of us could be gone by the end of the day. Just... poof, and you're not there anymore. But due to how she died... I can't help but think of how terrified she must have been during the last minutes or hours of her life... I'm not really sure on the details yet. And I think about any of the possible ways I could go, and car accident is usually the top of the list... just some terrifying horrible accident leaving me scared, bleeding and in pain without anyone to tell "goodbye" or "I love you" to. And it terrifies me. I hate knowing that it could happen at any time. Sure, it happens every day, death is a part of life, yadda yadda yadda, but when you start to think about how it could happen to you and when? It starts to wear on you. Or maybe it's just me. I tend to think about my own mortality a lot, and what I want to happen with my things and I worry about who will know and if some of them will even find out at all. I think... that's one of the things that terrifies me the most.
I need to stop thinking about this and sleep. But I can't.
I miss you, Stephani.
analoren
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So I'm pretty terrified right now. It's 5:15 in the morning, I'm wide awake, my eyes hurt, they're puffy, I'm shaking, and I really don't know what to do with myself right now. Typically, I'd suspect drugs, but this is a little different.
No, I just lost a very good friend of mine. LadySpace passed away Tuesday night. Just like that. Something completely unexpected. I've been dealing with the fact that there's a human-shaped hole in my universe where she used to be, and what I'm going to do now that she's not here. Now I'm also a little spooked because, hey, any one of us could be gone by the end of the day. Just... poof, and you're not there anymore. But due to how she died... I can't help but think of how terrified she must have been during the last minutes or hours of her life... I'm not really sure on the details yet. And I think about any of the possible ways I could go, and car accident is usually the top of the list... just some terrifying horrible accident leaving me scared, bleeding and in pain without anyone to tell "goodbye" or "I love you" to. And it terrifies me. I hate knowing that it could happen at any time. Sure, it happens every day, death is a part of life, yadda yadda yadda, but when you start to think about how it could happen to you and when? It starts to wear on you. Or maybe it's just me. I tend to think about my own mortality a lot, and what I want to happen with my things and I worry about who will know and if some of them will even find out at all. I think... that's one of the things that terrifies me the most.
I need to stop thinking about this and sleep. But I can't.
I miss you, Stephani.
analoren
_______________________________________________________
CLUBS
_______________________________________________________
OH GOD WHAT AM I EVEN DOING
BLARGH.
Usually things go here. Right now there's not a lot because I'm lazy. I do feel badly for neglecting this page for so long, especially because there are people waiting on me to post things. And I'm sorry for that. I really wish I had an excuse, but... I don't. I do occasionally forget about my own little slice of the internet sometimes, though. I'm not even going to promise to post more crap here in the future. Either I will or I won't, and there's not really a whole lot of use getting people's hopes up.
I'll try to post up something soon. Til then, enjoy the internet :heart:
analoren (https://www.deviantart.com/analoren)
ohay. it's a feature meme
Got into it from the lovely Spring-the-Rabbit (https://www.deviantart.com/spring-the-rabbit) who featured me in her journal in turn for being featured on hers.
:Rules:
# Be one of the first 10 commenting on this journal entry, and I will add you to the Feature List.
# For each of the 10 first people answering this journal I will put his/her avatar and three deviations from his/her gallery on the list.
# If you answer, you’ll have to do the same in your journal, putting me on the first place, completing this list with 10 people. The idea of this is not to get a free feature, it is to spread art around for everyone!
1. ~Spring-the-Rabbit (https://www.deviantart.com/spring-the-rabbit)
Wizardmon plush Awesome plushie
You smell that? That's the smell of OPPORTUNITY
Thursday July 9, 2009
Geez. Come tomorrow, I'll have been on here six years. Crazy.
So recently, I've decided that like millions (possibly billions, who knows) of people, out there. I want to succeed in life. Not just have a nice house, nice car, picket fence, all that jazz. I want to do something. Something with my own abilities that will get me recognition, forged from my own two hands and fueled by my passion and imagination! But I realize that the call for people like that may be broad, but the people clawing for those coveted spots in the warm, loving glow of the adoring public, a light so warm, that is comparable to standing ten feet
Devious Journal Entry
Friday April 17, 2009
Ho hum ho hum. Here's a blog thing.
Not much has been going on in my world, really. Uhh... Just going to school, really. Ploddin' along. Web design sucks. It's all online. I've decided that me and online classes don't get along. I'm taking summer classes, too, so goodbye, social life! It appears I'll be taking conversational Japanese and children's book illustration. That much I know for sure at least. I'm gonna talk to my adviser again and see if he can hook me up with the creative writing course. if not, oh well.
Been working on some more animals, and a couple projects on the side. Trying to get some flash work toge
© 2009 - 2024 analoren
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