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~analoren:iconanaloren:

Xenu is my homeboy!  

  • Status: Member
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  • Female/United States
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  • Deviant since Jul 10, 2003, 10:40 PM
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XIII

Journal Entry: Mon May 5, 2008, 9:30 AM
  • Mood: Hungry
  • Listening to: "Full of Grace" - Sarah McLachlan
  • Reading: nutrition facts
  • Watching: House M.D. - season 3
  • Playing: KOF XI
  • Eating: leftovers
  • Drinking: sprite
Monday, May 5, 2008

It's amazing how much can change in a year's time. I'm looking at my entries as close as I can from today from last year. It's odd how something that's so important to you one day can be ripped from your arms and be gone the next. Something that's so vastly important in your life that you cannot possibly comprehend living without it, and the next day, you find that yes, indeed, the world does still turn without that valuable something.

My mother passed from this world on April 28th, 2008. In addition to the pulmonary hypertension I believe I mentioned in my last entry, she also went into renal failure caused by an infection that had made its way into her blood and spread throughout her organs. That was the longest month of my life and her final five hours of life, the most terrifying I've ever had to experience. I know that she's all right now, and I can feel her with me at times, so I'm not so sad. I do miss her dearly, but I know that I've got to go on.

I pray that you never have to watch someone breathe their last breaths. I pray that you never have to watch someone cry out and scream with fear during their final hours. I pray you never have to go through the false hope of having her continue breathing for just long enough for things to be okay and to go back to the way they were. I pray.

I am sad, yes. But I'm handling it a lot better than I thought that I would. I did a lot of my crying and grieving a few weeks ago when things initially started going downhill and again when we knew that we were running out of options. But when you take a look at Death, you can look at it a few different ways: You can look at it and see that you're losing someone dear to your heart and knowing that they're never going to be in your life again, which will undoubtedly leave a huge hole in your heart, or you can look at it from their perspective. You can look at it and see that they're not truly gone. You can look at it and see that instead of your loss you should be mourning, it's their gain you should be celebrating. Especially if they were in pain. I think it's selfish to mourn my loss, so I try to think of all the amazing things that she has right now, and that makes me happy. She's no longer confined to the ties of this world and can do anything she wants now. That makes me happy.

Dad and I are getting along fine on our own so far. He just went back to work today, and I go back on Thursday. We've still got a ton of leftover food from her funeral (which was actually really awesome. We had a mile-and-a-half caravan to the gravesite, 102 corvettes in all. Wicked awesome), and we're still trying to get rid of it. I've gained about 10 pounds in the last month just from food being there all the time. When I've got to start doing the shopping, that's gonna change, and quick.

I'm not quite sure what else to say, so I won't. Um... take care and love you all!

~analoren

LINK OF THE DAY: [link] <= Poseidon Academy RPG. I just started playing. I'm not gonna say who, but it's a ton of fun so far!

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CLUBS
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Devious Information

  • Current Age: 20
  • Current Residence: In a basement
  • Interests: Anime, Video Games, Cartoons, drawing, writing, witchcraft, angels, world religions
  • Favourite movie: Little Miss Sunshine, Memoirs of a Geisha, the Lion King, The Hunchback of Notre Dame
  • Favourite band or musician: L'arc~en~Ciel/Hyde, OK Go, Reel Big Fish
  • Favourite genre of music: All Types, excluding country and most rap
  • Favourite artist: Maki Murakami, Sabrina Lucas, Makani
  • Favourite poet or writer: J.K. Rowling, Hyde
  • Favourite photographer: Jerry Uelsmann
  • Favourite style or digital art: Animation
  • Operating System: Anything not windows
  • MP3 player of choice: iSora
  • Shell of choice: "Get out from the shell"
  • Wallpaper of choice: anything that covers up the bloodstains
  • Skin of choice: chicken skin (it's delicious)
  • Favourite game: Resident Evils, Psychonauts, Pokémon, The Game (you just lost)
  • Favourite gaming platform: PS2, Nintendo DS
  • Favourite cartoon character: Fujioka Haruhi, Seguchi Tohma, Dib, Sir Integral Fairbrooks Wingates Hellsing
  • Personal Quote: "Mediocre people do exceptional things all the time" - OK Go
  • Tools of the Trade: Whatever the hell I feel like

deviantART Notice

Devious Comments

!jennytutu:iconjennytutu: 5 days 12 hours ago
Thanks for sharing. I really like your work a lot :)

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Poetry Contest
~inunokanojo:iconinunokanojo: May 7, 2008, 11:08:00 PM
Thanks for the fave! :D

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House: Idiots are fun! No wonder every village wants one. :D
~Avenar:iconAvenar: May 5, 2008, 12:00:59 PM
hey, thanks for the favorite, I appreciate your continued patronage.

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Check out my webcomic! Quarterlife Crisis [link]
~ErebusNyx:iconErebusNyx: May 3, 2008, 8:29:57 AM
You! Woman! I demand a hello and a return watch because I love you and I miss you!!

(It's Smallidge here to save your daaaaay!)

Tattoos look awesome babe!

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"When your god gives you lemons, YOU FIND A NEW GOD. GODBERRY. King of the Juice!!!"

Only stupid people put stupid stuff in these stupid signature space, STUPID. God you suck...
~Pitimy:iconPitimy: Apr 27, 2008, 12:40:36 AM
Thanks^__^

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LOL ^3^
~Avenar:iconAvenar: Apr 25, 2008, 10:30:20 AM
I see what you did there.

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Check out my webcomic! Quarterlife Crisis [link]
~analoren:iconanaloren: Apr 25, 2008, 7:53:27 AM
It's hard to ignore such luxurious legs when they're illuminated so wonderfully by the streetlight

~analoren

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RIP: Lisa McPherson, Herbert Pfaff, Josephus Havenith, Noah Lottic, Robert Deplano, Gabriella Bramucci, Eric Rubio, Shawn Lonsdale.
WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES?
xenu.net
~TheKwEeNofKoRn:iconTheKwEeNofKoRn: Apr 23, 2008, 1:27:21 AM
thanks for the fave!

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[link] AluxInteg <3
[link] Hellsing: The Beginning
~Avenar:iconAvenar: Apr 22, 2008, 11:34:08 PM
glad you liked the new stuff! Seriously though, why did you buy my mother?

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Check out my webcomic! Quarterlife Crisis [link]
~hikarukaze:iconhikarukaze: Apr 22, 2008, 6:27:39 PM
thanks for your fav! :heart:

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For more of my fanarts, go to my own website: [link]
:heart: :heart: :heart:
I'm becoming a demon in this world... Who can save me, who can beat me? Take my heart and take my soul, I don't need them any more...
~TheKwEeNofKoRn:iconTheKwEeNofKoRn: Apr 22, 2008, 3:44:10 PM
thanks for the favorites!

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[link] AluxInteg <3
[link] Hellsing: The Beginning
~MinibicMadness:iconMinibicMadness: Apr 21, 2008, 4:06:48 PM
Thanks lots for the fav!

=)

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*squish*
~Avenar:iconAvenar: Apr 13, 2008, 10:33:44 PM
woo! thanks for the favorite!

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Check out my webcomic! Quarterlife Crisis [link]
~lovelylollipop:iconlovelylollipop: Apr 11, 2008, 4:43:50 PM
thanks for the whatch!

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ples look at my fan fics I think you'll like them
this is fma [link]
and this is spy vs spy [link]

Love has no gender
=Happy-Hard-Core:iconHappy-Hard-Core: Apr 8, 2008, 5:35:57 PM
Thanks for the watch :) :D

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:flame:I am the most Hard Core Deviant on DA:flame:
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:new: HHC Tips :new:

1. Do not piss me off! :pissed:

2. Smoke alot of weed :weed:

3. Drink a heap of alcohol :drunk:

4. Respect the bank stare :|

5. Be Emo & cut yourself :katana:
~Anellyz:iconAnellyz: Apr 6, 2008, 5:18:06 AM
Thanx for the favski! :heart:

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:bulletblue: :bulletpurple: :bulletred:
I'm not weird, i'm gifted. :frail:
~mau006:iconmau006: Apr 4, 2008, 10:58:21 PM
thanks for the fave on Background! :D

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i just commented, and nothing's changed.
=DarkBride:iconDarkBride: Mar 31, 2008, 6:18:47 AM
thank you for the fav :) :blowkiss:

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:jedi:CLICK FOR COOKIES: [link]
~Avenar:iconAvenar: Mar 28, 2008, 12:51:38 PM
glad you like the snipplets!

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Check out my webcomic! Quarterlife Crisis [link]
~Avenar:iconAvenar: Mar 24, 2008, 10:08:13 PM
I am flattered.

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Check out my webcomic! Quarterlife Crisis [link]
~analoren:iconanaloren: Mar 24, 2008, 9:55:46 PM
What can I say? I dig yer stuff, man

~analoren

--
RIP: Lisa McPherson, Herbert Pfaff, Josephus Havenith, Noah Lottic, Robert Deplano, Gabriella Bramucci, Eric Rubio, Shawn Lonsdale.
WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES?
xenu.net
~Avenar:iconAvenar: Mar 24, 2008, 9:02:15 PM
another fave? you are too kind.

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Check out my webcomic! Quarterlife Crisis [link]
~KeeLe:iconKeeLe: Mar 19, 2008, 10:03:48 AM
thank you for the fav :heart;
~Avenar:iconAvenar: Mar 17, 2008, 9:54:54 PM
hey, glad you liked the fig. drawing! I appreciate the favorite!

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Check out my webcomic! Quarterlife Crisis [link]
~randomchild4life:iconrandomchild4life: Mar 14, 2008, 1:17:29 PM
thnx for the add
XD

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love me or hate me
i really dont care!
cus i love u all
WWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!